If One More Person...

For those who did not know me in high school, I used to be on the thicker side of life. (No, this was not in my imagination. At 33 weeks pregnant I am still under my highest weight in high school!) Part of me has always been worried about gaining this weight back. However, my love for fast food, beer, and red meat has pretty much assured that I would never take this worry too far.

Obviously, when pregnant you have to give up any worry about gaining weight. It is pretty much going to happen whether you want to or not. This is the first time in my life where I have been worried about not gaining enough weight. I have been worried about my lack of weight gain since the beginning of my second trimester. I have been worried even though my doctor has told me not to worry and that I will probably catch up. Do not get me wrong. I am happy that "I look great for being eight months pregnant," but that does not mean that I am not concerned.

Yesterday I had another ultrasound. Last time was to check on the kidneys (everything is fine) and this time was to check on his growth. The growth is not looking good. He is definitely a small baby. Last time we checked he was in the 30th percentile for overall size. Now he is not even that big. I know that we have to factor in that neither Rod or I were 8 lbs babies. We are small people having a small baby. This does not mean that I do not put some of the blame on myself. I have to think that maybe if I was gaining more weight...

Needless to say, this bothered me greatly the last day or so. Everyone keeps telling me that I am tiny and that I need to eat more. I started to wonder if I am really eating as much as I think I am. The truth is that I am eating more than I thought I was!

So, if you feel I need to eat more or talk behind my back (not saying that anyone actually is) about how thin I am and say that I must not be eating, think about this! What do you think would happen to you if you were 5'3"-5'4" and eating 2,700-3,000 calories per day?! I am honestly not exaggerating these numbers. I actually started to keep track this week. I also have not changed anything. I eat when I am hungry and eat what sounds good whether it be apples or ice cream.

I honestly am not sure what else I can do to make this little one grow more. At the rate I am going my pregnancy weight gain will be around 25 lbs if I make it to 40 weeks. If you do not already know, 25-35 lbs gain is considered healthy for women who were at a healthy weight pre-pregnancy.

So, please understand that I do not need to eat more. I also know that my doctor has not given me any reason to seriously worry at this point. This is about my frustration and worry that I might be doing something wrong. I am also not looking for someone to tell me not to worry. God knows that Rod goes above and beyond!

I guess I just want everyone to know that these things happen. Maybe someone will read this who is growing through a similar situation. Or maybe even know someone who is. As for now, I have not been given a reason to worry, but it is only natural to do so. I guess it just means that I will have to keep him in as long as possible and throw out my plans for week 37.

Oh, did I mention he has a full head of hair?